Broken Foundation

I went home this weekend to spend time with my family and my boyfriend, but what I thought was going to be a great weekend turned out to be the worst weekend of my life. Friday and Saturday went pretty well all things considered. Saturday night my boyfriend fell asleep at my house and ended up just staying the night. Well Sunday when my dad got up he totally flipped. We had both slept in the living room but on separate pieces of furniture. Well, Shawn staying the night was just a minor flame to my dad’s rage. My dad totally flipped out on my mom and me. Trying to be rational I told my dad that I needed to talk to him to try and fix things. After talking, or trying to talk, to my dad I have never felt so hurt or broken in my life. Some of the things he said were so hurtful that I don’t know if our relationship will ever be the same. I talked to my mom and found out a lot of information that I guess I’ve know but wasn’t completely sure of, well after this whole blow up I’m sure of it. It’s like my dad is making me choose between him and my boyfriend when what I really want is both. I’m not quite sure what to do right now. I’m so hurt that I honestly don’t know if these wounds can ever be repaired. I really don’t want to go into detail about everything thing that happened because I don’t know if I can stand to relive it. This morning my mom and I had a deep conversation about some options that we have and neither of us knows exactly what we should do. My dad has locked himself in their bedroom since he got home yesterday so I didn’t even see him, which is ok because I don’t want to speak to him right now anyway. It’s so hard seeing my mom hurt and feeling how bad I hurt. I know everything will work out in one-way or another but the pain I’m feeling right now feels like it will never go away